Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is an approach to enhanced communication, understanding, and connection based on the principles of nonviolence and humanistic psychology. It was developed by clinical psychologist Marshall Rosenberg beginning in the 1960s and 1970s.

It suggests that in a conflict it’s important to create empathy, listen to the needs of the parts involved, validate them, and collaborate to find solutions that can satisfy everyone’s needs.

The most effective way to conduct a nonviolent communication conversation is based on this 4 principles structure:

1. Observation: These are facts (what we are seeing, hearing, or touching) as distinct from our evaluation of meaning and significance. NVC discourages static generalisations. It is said that “When we combine observation with evaluation, others are apt to hear criticism and resist what we are saying.” Instead, a focus on observations specific to time and context is recommended.
2. Feelings: These are emotions or sensations, free of thought and story. These are to be distinguished from thoughts (e.g., “I feel I didn’t get a fair deal”) and from words colloquially used as feelings but which convey what we think we are (e.g., “inadequate”), how we think others are evaluating us (e.g., “unimportant”), or what we think others are doing to us (e.g., “misunderstood”, “ignored”). Feelings are said to reflect whether we are experiencing our needs as met or unmet. Identifying feelings is said to allow us to more easily connect with one another, and “Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable by expressing our feelings can help resolve conflicts”
3. Needs: These are universal human needs, as distinct from particular strategies for meeting needs. Marshall Rosenberg refers to Max-Neef’s model where needs may be categorised into 9 classes: sustenance, safety, love, understanding/empathy, creativity, recreation, sense of belonging, autonomy and meaning.
4. Requests: Requests are distinguished from demands in that one is open to hearing a response of “no” without this triggering an attempt to force the matter. If one makes a request and receives a “no” it is not recommended that one gives up, but that one empathises with what is preventing the other person from saying “yes,” before deciding how to continue the conversation. It is recommended that requests use clear, positive, concrete action language.

Example:
(1. Observation) Felix, when I see your clothes all around the room
(2. Feeling) I feel irritated
(3. Need) because I need more order in the space that we share.
(4. Request) Could you please keep them in your suitcase?

You can find more about it here.